I can hear it in the dead of night. I feel it in my bones. His words still cut as if they were spoken to me in that instant. 

   “You don’t matter.”

   Here I sit. Alone. Single mother of 3 children. Tired…no, exhausted. Struggling. Pulled in every direction. 

I am left to feel like I am not their mother. I must work outside of my home to provide everything they need. This was the last thing I ever wanted. I fought with everything I had to prevent it. I spend countless hours sitting in a patrol car watching my back for an ambush and wishing I was at home, hearing them laugh. I sweat buckets on the side of the road hoping not to get hit by a car while thinking about their quiet, sleeping faces. I spend hours drenched to the bone wishing I could just curl up in somebody’s arms and be the one who is weak and loved for once. I struggle. I cringe. I grieve. I rage. I push on. 

   Then, in quiet moments as I look through my daughter’s kindergarten folder, I find the unprompted words she wrote about me over a year ago. In the moments when I am weak and I least expect it, I find the true thoughts of my 6 year little girl. When I doubt the life that God has allowed me to provide for her, I find quiet reassurance and peaceful understanding in the pencil of a child. Though I doubt my value, I know that hers is beyond compare. It is that value that keeps her close to my mind in the middle of the night when I am called away. It is that sweet spirit that calls me home. Taylor, my sweet girl, you are loved beyond words.

March 2017

What do you like to do at home?

I like to spend time with my Mommy.
I like to ride my bike. I like to climb on my (translation please??). I like to feed my chickens.
I like to jump on my trampoline. I like to watch TV. I like to wash my Mom's police car.

May 2017

What do you love about your Mom?

I love my Mom because she puts me to bed.
I love my Mom because she jumps on the trampoline with me.
I love my Mom because she is a beautiful mom.
I love my Mom because she buys me clothes.

November 2017

Write a sentence telling what you are thankful for.

I am thankful for Thanksgiving.
I am thankful for my Momma.
I am thankful for my Pap Pap.
I am thankful for my GiGi. 

"...I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you." Jeremiah 31:3

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for good and not evil, to give you a future and a hope."

Jeremiah 29:11

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old things have passed away; behold, all things are new." 

2 Corinthians 5:17