Our Growing Family

   As I mentioned in my first post, we are expecting our second baby girl in January. We both want a big family and are excited to see it grow. Although it gets frustrating, we enjoy being parents so much!      
   However, I am definitely starting to freak out about having another baby. I have absolutely no idea how I'm going to juggle two children. I know, I know. Two is not that many and women juggle more kids than that every day with no problem. I myself have multiple friends with 4 children. I think I'm just in the same spot I was when our first was born. I'm back in the 'my-world-is-fixing-to-be-turned-upside-down-and-I-have-no-idea-what-to-do' spot. This time will be so different for multiple reasons. The first one is obvious, I will now have to juggle 2 children instead of one. The second, is my Kyle will be home. The third, is that I honestly cannot remember what I did when Paige was a newborn. I can remember that I barely made it through Paige's newborn phase. I honestly don't know if that was just because I was depressed or for some other reason. All I can remember about that part of her life is how miserable and hard it was. I can't think about it without crying. Is having a newborn really that hard or was it that way only because of Kyle's deployment? Was it that way because he left when she was barely 7 days old and I've never hurt so bad in my life? If it really is that hard, I can honestly say that I'm terrified to do it again. My Kyle won't be able to help me at night because he has to work and my Mom isn't here. I have absolutely no doubt that she will come help me but all of it still falls on me.  I don't remember what to do with a newborn. I even have pictures of Paige when she was tiny and I don't remember what was going on. Trust me, that's not because it was so 'long' ago. I feel like I'm having my first baby all over again and I'm as clueless as I was before.
   However, I am a very determined Momma and I have a mighty God. I have no idea how we will adjust to a new baby but I know that we will. This is the first time that we've done it together and it will certainly be an adventure!