As a young mom of very young kids, I am frustrated...often. I get so tired of repeating the same commands all day every day. I get so sick of disciplining for the same issues I dealt with yesterday. I often think, 'We've been through this already! Why can't you get it? It's not that difficult!'
Then I think of what a bonehead I am. I mean, come on! My oldest girl is barely 3 and my middle girl is just shy of 20 months. Seriously, is it even valid to get frustrated because I have to repeat myself? I'm going to say no to that.
Is it not I who set my own expectations? Am I not the one who decides that she should 'know that by now'? I am the one who chooses to ignore everything she has accomplished and to focus on the one thing she is failing to comprehend at the moment. I am the one who chooses to forget that learning and growth come slowly! All too often, I tell my 3 year old to do something and get aggravated when she just looks at me. Sometimes, I get aggravated despite the fact that I can tell she has no idea how to accomplish said task. I know she is not being defiant or disobedient and yet, I fuss at her anyway. I think, 'Well, why can't you figure it out?!'. How often do I make her feel stupid and worthless for something that is not her fault? How often am I guilty of simply being too lazy to get up and teach her how to do what I asked?
I am very well aware of the commands my daughters understand. I know what each one is capable of and I believe I have every right to require they perform some tasks on their own. However, what right have I to fuss at my children for failing to meet every demand I make based not on what they know but on what is convenient for me at the moment?
A unmet request is something that should be greeted with love and compassion. Something that should be met with understanding, grace and patience. My girls are not stupid but I can easily make them feel like they are. If I treat them like they're dumb, eventually they will believe it and act on it.
Sometimes, my girls are completely ignorant of how to accomplish what I ask. It is my responsibility to get off my rear end and show them. It is my task to teach them their worth and value is not based on their ability to perform. They are quick, willing learners and desire my approval. It is my job to give it. I should acknowledge their effort, even if it is wrong, then show them the proper way to respond.
I am a young mother. I am frustrated often. I get tired of repeating the same commands all day every day.
I am a young mother who must remember that I am training my children. I am a frustrated mother who must remember that training takes time and repetition. I am a tired mother who must remember that training often means repeating the same commands all day every day.
Saturday, September 7, 2013
Allison's Birth
This is a story of childbirth. Therefore, if you are a man who chooses to read this and you read something that is TMI, it's completely your fault. You were warned.
The story goes...
After being turned away from Womack twice on Friday due to lack of available beds, I returned on Saturday morning expecting to be induced. When I arrived, there were still no beds available so a non-stress test was ordered. The nurse said I could go home if everything was ok and I would be a priority for a Monday morning induction.
During the previous week, I had had 2 other NST's done. The line that was supposed to be measuring contractions looked like someone had drawn it with a ruler. Boy, that was a major discouragement, so I was not looking forward to what this NST might reveal. Happily though, I was having contractions this time. Whoo-hoo!!!!! After an exam, which told me I was 4 cm dilated, I allowed the doctor to strip my membranes. (Seriously, is there not a less painful way to do that?) I was told to go home and to expect a call on Monday if they did not see me before.
I spent the rest of Saturday having erratic, barely noticeable cramping. It was 6pm before my contractions got my attention but they were still really far apart and easily ignored. They became uncomfortable around 945. My mom noticed a grimace on my face and we started to time them at 10. They were coming steadily at 4 minutes apart and lasting about 60 seconds. As I was sitting on the couch, I thought, 'We probably need to go. We're 40 minutes from the hospital and they're going to be really strong and close together by the time we get there.'
And then...my water broke.
In less than 2 minutes, my contractions brought me to my knees and I was spewing my dinner like Old Faithful. No longer erratic, no longer far apart, each contraction demanded my full strength and attention! My Mom helped me breathe through the pain while my Dad called an ambulance. They swear that it was at my house in 5 minutes but it seemed much longer to me! Thankfully, after some hastily asked questions it took only a few minutes to get me on the gurney, down the porch steps, and into the ambulance.
I was supposed to deliver at the hospital on Fort Bragg but we knew it was too far away. I vaguely remember the EMT offering to take me to either Sanford or Dunn. Daddy immediately asked which one was better while Momma asked which was closest! They went with closest! That little scene still makes me giggle.
There isn't much to say about the ambulance ride. It was horrendously painful and the 23 year old EMT was definitely worried about having to deliver a baby on his own. He kept asking me if I felt the need to push. He was very gentle but pale as a sheet. For a moment, it made me wonder if he was new at his job but the bigger thing on my mind was that they weren't going fast enough!
When we finally made it to the hospital, they wheeled me into the ER then sent me upstairs. I've never been so nauseated in an elevator before! I'm certain the memory of that ride will always make me queasy! To add insult to injury, the upstairs hallways appeared to be longer than Route 66. When the EMT and nurses finally got me to the bed and told me to get off the gurney, I wanted to say, 'NO. Just leave me right where I am and go away.'. By that point, my contractions weren't letting up and I was seriously wondering if my legs would work. I was speechless when a nurse changed the command. She told me to go into the bathroom and get into a hospital gown. Didn't that woman know the bathroom was across the room, AKA located in Siberia?! I almost said NO again. Was this seriously necessary?! Of course, it wasn't an option so I got into a gown and somehow made it back across the room and into the bed.
Little bit of a fox trail here... when I reached the bed, I told them that I needed an epidural. Most of you don't know this but when I was induced with Taylor, I tried to labor naturally even though I was given Pitocin. Let's just say it didn't work out. I was rolling along and happily miserable for a while. My contractions were coming hard and fast. I just knew that I could make it through the terrible pain. I was positive that I making progress and that baby girl was close to making her entry. WRONG.
I remember with perfect clarity, the moment my nurse checked my cervix and told me that youngin had moved back up and I wasn't dilating any more. That was the moment that I wholeheartedly gave up. I made them turn the Pitocin drip off and told them I wanted an epidural on the spot.
This time, my contractions were the same intensity and I just knew that they were about to tell me that I was only 5 or 6 centimeters. I was positive that I was a long way from giving birth and that I wasn't going to make it.
Ok, back to the story. It will make sense in a minute, I promise.
I remember a nurse telling me that I needed to lay down so they could check my cervix. Lay down? Flat on my back? You have to be joking. There was absolutely no way my stomach muscles would have relaxed enough for me to do that! After a few minutes, they gave up on that endeavor and checked me while I leaned slightly back.
9 centimeters.
Holy cow, what a relief!!! I was seriously surprised and so, so grateful! I could do this. I could finally have a baby naturally like I'd always wanted to do.
By the way those nurses flew into action, you'd have thought the Pope had just walked in the room. There were people, carts, and monitors going in every direction. They were taking the bed apart and giving me multiple commands that I barely heard. When the midwife arrived, they had me in those awesome, awkward stirrups and ready to push.
After a couple of pushes, the midwife noticed something was wrong. My cervix had not thinned all the way and Allie was stuck. The only way around that problem was for my midwife, aka my new best friend, to reach her hand inside and pull it back. Oh my stars. You want to talk about intense pain! My entire body was focused on pushing and she was shoving.
I screamed. More than once!
Thankfully, though it didn't seem like it, the horrid pain didn't last long. Baby girl was ready to make her entry so I pushed for less than 5 minutes. When she started to appear, the midwife pulled her half way out and suctioned out her mouth. That was the last major pain. If I had thought my legs would have responded, I'd have given that woman a concussion.
Allison weighed 9lbs 3oz, measured 22 inches and had a big head. She didn't make a sound and was the strangest shade of purple I've ever seen. It seemed to take a lifetime before she made a peep but when she did, the people 3 doors down heard it. Baby girl was here and healthy. Whoo-hoo!!
There is no doubt that her birth was an absolute whirlwind! I am still shocked at how fast everything transpired. The ambulance left my driveway at 10:34pm and Allie made her entrance at 11:16pm. We were at the hospital less than 20 minutes before she got here. I hope she decides to slow down now!
The story goes...
After being turned away from Womack twice on Friday due to lack of available beds, I returned on Saturday morning expecting to be induced. When I arrived, there were still no beds available so a non-stress test was ordered. The nurse said I could go home if everything was ok and I would be a priority for a Monday morning induction.
During the previous week, I had had 2 other NST's done. The line that was supposed to be measuring contractions looked like someone had drawn it with a ruler. Boy, that was a major discouragement, so I was not looking forward to what this NST might reveal. Happily though, I was having contractions this time. Whoo-hoo!!!!! After an exam, which told me I was 4 cm dilated, I allowed the doctor to strip my membranes. (Seriously, is there not a less painful way to do that?) I was told to go home and to expect a call on Monday if they did not see me before.
I spent the rest of Saturday having erratic, barely noticeable cramping. It was 6pm before my contractions got my attention but they were still really far apart and easily ignored. They became uncomfortable around 945. My mom noticed a grimace on my face and we started to time them at 10. They were coming steadily at 4 minutes apart and lasting about 60 seconds. As I was sitting on the couch, I thought, 'We probably need to go. We're 40 minutes from the hospital and they're going to be really strong and close together by the time we get there.'
And then...my water broke.
In less than 2 minutes, my contractions brought me to my knees and I was spewing my dinner like Old Faithful. No longer erratic, no longer far apart, each contraction demanded my full strength and attention! My Mom helped me breathe through the pain while my Dad called an ambulance. They swear that it was at my house in 5 minutes but it seemed much longer to me! Thankfully, after some hastily asked questions it took only a few minutes to get me on the gurney, down the porch steps, and into the ambulance.
I was supposed to deliver at the hospital on Fort Bragg but we knew it was too far away. I vaguely remember the EMT offering to take me to either Sanford or Dunn. Daddy immediately asked which one was better while Momma asked which was closest! They went with closest! That little scene still makes me giggle.
There isn't much to say about the ambulance ride. It was horrendously painful and the 23 year old EMT was definitely worried about having to deliver a baby on his own. He kept asking me if I felt the need to push. He was very gentle but pale as a sheet. For a moment, it made me wonder if he was new at his job but the bigger thing on my mind was that they weren't going fast enough!
When we finally made it to the hospital, they wheeled me into the ER then sent me upstairs. I've never been so nauseated in an elevator before! I'm certain the memory of that ride will always make me queasy! To add insult to injury, the upstairs hallways appeared to be longer than Route 66. When the EMT and nurses finally got me to the bed and told me to get off the gurney, I wanted to say, 'NO. Just leave me right where I am and go away.'. By that point, my contractions weren't letting up and I was seriously wondering if my legs would work. I was speechless when a nurse changed the command. She told me to go into the bathroom and get into a hospital gown. Didn't that woman know the bathroom was across the room, AKA located in Siberia?! I almost said NO again. Was this seriously necessary?! Of course, it wasn't an option so I got into a gown and somehow made it back across the room and into the bed.
Little bit of a fox trail here... when I reached the bed, I told them that I needed an epidural. Most of you don't know this but when I was induced with Taylor, I tried to labor naturally even though I was given Pitocin. Let's just say it didn't work out. I was rolling along and happily miserable for a while. My contractions were coming hard and fast. I just knew that I could make it through the terrible pain. I was positive that I making progress and that baby girl was close to making her entry. WRONG.
I remember with perfect clarity, the moment my nurse checked my cervix and told me that youngin had moved back up and I wasn't dilating any more. That was the moment that I wholeheartedly gave up. I made them turn the Pitocin drip off and told them I wanted an epidural on the spot.
This time, my contractions were the same intensity and I just knew that they were about to tell me that I was only 5 or 6 centimeters. I was positive that I was a long way from giving birth and that I wasn't going to make it.
Ok, back to the story. It will make sense in a minute, I promise.
I remember a nurse telling me that I needed to lay down so they could check my cervix. Lay down? Flat on my back? You have to be joking. There was absolutely no way my stomach muscles would have relaxed enough for me to do that! After a few minutes, they gave up on that endeavor and checked me while I leaned slightly back.
9 centimeters.
Holy cow, what a relief!!! I was seriously surprised and so, so grateful! I could do this. I could finally have a baby naturally like I'd always wanted to do.
By the way those nurses flew into action, you'd have thought the Pope had just walked in the room. There were people, carts, and monitors going in every direction. They were taking the bed apart and giving me multiple commands that I barely heard. When the midwife arrived, they had me in those awesome, awkward stirrups and ready to push.
After a couple of pushes, the midwife noticed something was wrong. My cervix had not thinned all the way and Allie was stuck. The only way around that problem was for my midwife, aka my new best friend, to reach her hand inside and pull it back. Oh my stars. You want to talk about intense pain! My entire body was focused on pushing and she was shoving.I screamed. More than once!
Thankfully, though it didn't seem like it, the horrid pain didn't last long. Baby girl was ready to make her entry so I pushed for less than 5 minutes. When she started to appear, the midwife pulled her half way out and suctioned out her mouth. That was the last major pain. If I had thought my legs would have responded, I'd have given that woman a concussion.
Allison weighed 9lbs 3oz, measured 22 inches and had a big head. She didn't make a sound and was the strangest shade of purple I've ever seen. It seemed to take a lifetime before she made a peep but when she did, the people 3 doors down heard it. Baby girl was here and healthy. Whoo-hoo!!There is no doubt that her birth was an absolute whirlwind! I am still shocked at how fast everything transpired. The ambulance left my driveway at 10:34pm and Allie made her entrance at 11:16pm. We were at the hospital less than 20 minutes before she got here. I hope she decides to slow down now!
 |
| Welcome to the world, my beautiful girl! |
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)