As a mother...

    As a mother, you often hear older mothers say the words, 'Enjoy every moment! It goes fast!'. Now, I completely agree with the latter part of that statement. Babies do not stay babies for long and when it's gone, the change is over-night and absolutely incredible.
   However, I couldn't disagree more with the first part. 'Enjoy every moment!'...ARE YOU SERIOUS??!! No woman, in her right mind, can look me in the eye and say that she genuinely enjoyed every single moment with her babies. I will call her a liar faster than she can blink. At which point does a mom begin to 'enjoy' being up at 3 in the morning and ending up with poo on her hands because she's changing a disgusting diaper through half open, unconscious eyes?! That is not something you can 'enjoy'. I'm fairly certain that people who enjoy playing with poo, end up in a mental institution. What woman 'enjoys' getting no sleep for what can be months? Or, my personal favorite, getting pooped and peed on at all hours of the night and day, then, when they're supposed to be going to bed, having to put the baby in the tub because they have poo from their butts to their ears and back, hearing them scream at ear-shattering levels for 15 minutes, getting a floppy newborn out of the tub by yourself, listening to more painful shrieks as you dry them off, dress them, and bundle them for bed. Not to mention, that once and IF you manage to get them calmed down, you go to lay them down, and the end of the world happens for the 50th time that day. All of a sudden, every blood vessel in their face is about to burst and you're wondering why you didn't consider adoption at the first sign of those pink lines. You're exhausted, frustrated, and beyond confused. You 'enjoyed' that?! Well, you're an idiot.
   Let me just say to my friends who are pregnant, are about to have their baby or are holding their newborn as we speak...DO NOT feel guilty because you don't enjoy every second with your child. Don't feel guilty because sometimes, you don't care to hold them or because you just want your quiet house back. Don't feel guilty because you aren't jumping for joy at the thought of waking them up to eat. I would even go as far as to say, do not feel guilty because that little 8 pound human in the other room, actually scares you. Lastly, DO NOT feel guilty because, when you hear the words, 'Enjoy every moment!', you want to cry and scream out, ' BUT I'M NOT!!!'. There's nothing realistic about enjoying every second with a baby, a toddler, a teenager or an adult. Do you enjoy every second with your husband?! NO. You get angry at him, you fight with him, sometimes you want him to leave you alone for a little while, don't you? And don't say no because I'll call you a liar too.
   My point is that having a child, no matter what their age, is the hardest things you will ever do. Being a mother doesn't come 'naturally'. I'm sorry to tell you this but, when you have that baby, you don't immediately get the knowledge of how to soothe a baby who has been screaming for hours. Motherhood is not always glamorous. There are days when you will not be able to shower, comb your hair or even brush your teeth. There is nothing wrong with that. Children are hard work and they don't have a '15 minute break' rule.
   Hear this, my friends, you are not alone. You are not a bad mother. You are learning the things that will make you a great mother. There is great wisdom in the statement, 'Each child is different.' There is no manual you can read that will fix everything. What you need to do, is calm down and realize that the anger, exhaustion and confusion you feel, is perfectly fine. It will not last forever. You will find your way and your baby will not grow up to be a terror. You can find your enjoyment in the few hours that they sleep and, when they do, sit down a relax on the couch! Your joy will come when you hear their first laugh and, after weeks of trying, watch them rollover for the first time. Find your solitude in the sweet bundle that is asleep on your chest and forget how long it took to get them that way. Find peace in their brief smiles and tiny hands, my friends. These things won't last forever either.
                  

Welcoming Ellie

   I have sat down 100 times to write this piece and every time, the only thought in my brain has been, "I'm so tired." Well, tonight is no different and tomorrow will be just the same so, why am I putting it off? However, my brain is still 'new Momma' foggy so I cannot promise that this will be an easy, flowing read but here goes...
   Our Ellie was born at Womack Army Medical Center at 2043 (8:43 pm). Let's just say everyone in the delivery room was amazed at how big she was. I heard them taking bets on her weight as they got her cleaned up and put on the scale. Baby girl didn't disappoint! She weighed in at a whopping 10lbs 3oz and was 21 inches long! A lot of people have asked me how she compared to Paige. Well, Paige was 8lbs, 21.5 inches, so I would say a comparison is not possible. Ellie had her beat from the beginning!
    Anyway, since I ran a fever during labor, the poor girl had to be carted away to the NICU and given an IV for antibiotics before she could even eat! Since I couldn't leave the room, Kyle had the wonderful task of watching the Docs poke her with one needle after another. After a ridiculously long 2 1/2 hours of looking for a vein, they gave up and she had to have individual shots. Poor baby had blood, bruises and Bandaids all over her when I got her back! To add insult to injury, they also had to check her blood sugar every single time she ate, which meant another needle or two every 3 hours. I still don't fully understand what that was about. I just remember them saying that it was because she was so big. I will say that, if the girl has an intense fear of needles for the rest of her life, I will completely understand!
   Since we're 'second time offenders', we were supposed to stay in the hospital for 24 hours and go home. Well, we ended up having to stay 3 days because Ellie had to have another dose of antibiotics every 8 hours. We were definitely not prepared to stay that long nor were we happy about it. After those 3 days, our apartment was the most beautiful place we'd ever seen! Now that we're home, we are concentrating on recovering as much sleep as possible and getting Ellie's schedule established. She's doing great so far!
   As far as she and Paige go, they couldn't be more opposite! We can already see that Ellie is a quiet, mild-mannered little thing. Paige, on the other hand, has no idea what the word 'quiet' means! She is a huge ball of energy that never stops going. If she does stand still for a moment, her mouth is going 90 miles an hour. She squeals so loud that she makes Ellie jump but baby girl never skips a beat. She just watches Paige with eyes open wide. They are blending perfectly. Thankfully, getting up in the night with Ellie has not disturbed Paige. Of course, during the day, Paige can't stand for Ellie to cry and if she hears her, she immediately runs to my side, hollering, 'Baby! Baby! Baby!'. She is absolutely fascinated by everything Ellie does and constantly asks to go get her up or to hold her. Paige's favorite thing to do is hold Ellie's hand. However, she doesn't understand why Ellie won't hold still!

   In closing, we are doing beautifully. We are experiencing the true joy of having a new baby for the first time. My Kyle has been a gigantic help and oh so patient with me and my foggy brain. The birth of our Ellie has been one of the greatest joys of our marriage.