Monday, March 25, 2013

March Status Report

   Hi strangers!! A lot has changed with our little family since the last time I wrote. It seems like I've opened a lot of entries like that lately.
   We're doing well! We are now living in Lillington. We've found a rental house out here that is considerably cheaper than our apartment and we are enjoying it so much! However, I would very much like spring to show up so that we can finally enjoy our yard. How I hate the cold and this year it just can't seem to make up it's mind.
   Our girls continue to grow like weeds. We've been having a rough time with Paige lately. She's been sick for over a month and we have no idea what is going on. As most of you are also mothers, you can understand how ridiculously frustrating that is. I can't seem to make any sense of her symptoms and neither can her doctor. The girl will be totally fine and then she will throw and run a fever for a few days. After her fever fades away, she will be fine for 5-6 days and then it will start over again. Her appetite is nearly nonexistent most days and she has off and on diarrhea. We're also having a very hard time with her getting out of bed at night. I feel like it is something I could easily fix but I'm not sure how to go about that when her fever or nausea will randomly sneak up on her in the middle of the night. I've taken her for blood tests and collected stool samples. They are looking into a parasite because blood tests for Rotavirus and other infections are negative. We have also been referred to a 'gastro-something I can't pronounce' and are waiting for an appointment.  As you can see, it's annoying and we are dying for an answer. Our girl is clearly sick but we can't help her. Ughhh!!!! In the mean time, since she is also fighting pink eye, I'm pumping her full of probiotics and every other good thing I can find!
   As for Taylor, she's doing well. She has had some diarrhea but has none of Paige's other symptoms so I'm blaming hers on teething. As I've said before, teething has never been a kind process to the poor girl. She currently has 4 jaw teeth pushing through and another canine on it's way. I don't know why that child can't do anything on a small scale! Her weight seems to broken even in the mid twenties but her legs don't seem to be getting the message. She was the average height of an 18 month old at less then 13 months. She's now just over 14 months and her 18 months clothes are snug and too short. That's another reason that I'm hoping for warm weather soon. I have an entire wardrobe of 24 months and 2T clothes but not one piece of it is cold weather stuff. Come on, spring, I need you here!!!
   My pregnancy is going well, if you can call it that. I'm as nauseated as ever but I've found some things to ease it. Nothing makes it disappear but I wasn't expecting that. I had my first ultrasound done last Saturday and, at 20 weeks, everything looks great. We still aren't sure what we're having though. The ultrasound tech tried so hard to see the sex of the baby but that youngin is curled up in a ball and absolutely refused to move. When I say the lady tried, I mean she really tried! There were a couple of times that I had to ask her to stop pushing on my stomach so hard. She did get a very hazy picture and guessed that it is a baby girl but said that she couldn't give me a definite answer. We assumed that it would be a very long time before we could get another ultrasound scheduled but I got a call from my doc today and she said that we have to have another one done soon because some of the pictures are not good enough. Fingers crossed for try number 2! On the upside, I've been feeling life for a few weeks now and those kicks are steadily getting stronger. That will always be the strangest, most amazing feeling ever!
   My hubby is doing good. He's been training hard lately and will be out of town for next couple of weeks. He will get weekends at home though and I always appreciate that! It always reminds me of what it's like to miss that man for too long. Kyle will be preparing to get out of the Army in December so he is always busy on his hunt for another job. We don't have a solid direction from God but we have a couple of possibilities to explore. We're both excited and nervous to begin another chapter. The Army is all we've ever known and we aren't sure how to be regular civilians but we know that we serve a mighty God who knows exactly what He's doing!
   In short, our life is chugging along. There are a lot more details to it than what I've written here but I'll fill you in on those later. Bye bye, pals!

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Black Mark on My Soul

I am a writer to my core.
But when my thoughts turn to you,
All words are swept away.
I feel the harsh sting of grief.
I sense the endless pit of sorrow.
I cannot bring myself to write of you.
I refuse to utter our final goodbye.
You remain forever
A black mark on my soul.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Happy Birthday, Friend

   Today is my best friend's birthday. I've been fighting emotion all morning. I am so heartbroken that she is not here to read her card. However, I have decided that today will not be a sad day. Today is a day that I have always celebrated my friend's life. Why should this birthday be any different? Yes, she is gone and I am still grieving her loss but I'm tired of being sad about her. I want to remember the joy of who she was and relive the smiles and laughter we shared. I don't want to grieve today. I want to tell you about her and how much she meant to me. I want you to know what a treasure she was. I can't promise that it will make sense. As I said, I'm very emotional today.

   I knew Ashley for a solid year before I became close to her. I remember it as clear as day. We were at a summer camp with our church and I had an accident the morning after we arrived. When I say accident, I mean disaster. I, in all of my 14 year old brilliance, had decided to drop-in to a 6 foot high half pipe. Now, I was not a skateboarder but I strapped on a helmet, got my footing on a friend's board and went face first onto the fiberglass bottom. I broke my nose, bit through my lip, and had 2 very swollen, black eyes for 8 months. I didn't recognize it at the time, but my body was in a slight state of shock and I definitely had a concussion. The days were easily 80 degrees yet I was freezing most of the time. My hands trembled and I couldn't remember things people had said 2 minutes before. Years later, I remember very few details about that week but I know that Ashley was there. She was the one who went to find my Mom after I fell. She shared a bunk with me at night to keep me warm. She stuck close to my side when I felt dizzy and had a hard time walking. She became my friend.

   After that, we were normal teenager pals...sleepovers every weekend and long shopping trips where we argued about who should wear what. My favorite shopping trip will always be the time we went to the mall and tried on the ugliest clothes and shoes we could find in the store. I love to look back at those pictures! They're full of her laughter and smiles.
   Another favorite of mine, is one of our sleepovers. I came over after her younger brother and sister were asleep and had brought a new CD. When I turned the stereo on, it was REALLY loud. I remember her mom calling her into the other room. When Ashley came back, I asked what happened and she said that her mom was upset because she was afraid the music would wake everybody up. Then she said, she told her mom that it was her own fault and that she would turn it down. When I asked her why she didn't say it was me, she brushed it off and said she didn't want her mom upset with me. Now, her mom wasn't about to beat her with a red hot poker or anything but that was the first time somebody had willingly taken the fall for me. I felt both surprised and loved.
   Ashley had a beautiful smile and could be the most loyal of friends. She was a hard worker and did her best to help when she could. I loved all the things about her that made her different. I remember little details about who she was and these are the ones that make me smile. Like, as a teenager, she wasn't wild about sweets yet had a whole drawer of candy in her bedroom. She loved juice as much as a toddler and was a talented artist. Her love of butterflies was apparent to anyone who knew her. It made her so mad when people called them 'flutter-byes'. I used to say it just to tease her.
   I have no desire to sanctify Ashley. As with all humans, she wasn't perfect. We disagreed, fussed, and argued but it never changed anything. She was and will remain a treasure in my life. Make no mistake, there are few people on this earth who loved Ashley more than I. There are even less people who miss her more than I do.

Happy Birthday, my Friend. 



Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Just a bad day

   I hate waking up in the morning and knowing that it's going to be a horrible day. Today is the day that I say goodbye to my best friend. Today is the day that I have to face the grief and pain on her beloved family's faces. I don't want to attend her funeral. I don't want to have to comfort her family. These are people whom I greatly love. They are people whom I never wanted to hurt in such a way. I never wanted to hurt in such a way.
   I don't want to go inside and see the urn of her ashes. I don't want to cry for her. I don't want to miss her. I don't want to say goodbye. I want to run in the opposite direction of the funeral home and yet I'm about to drive 80mph straight to it.
   I want to hug her. I want to hear her laugh. I want to see her squeeze her children and hear her repeat the hilarious things they say. I want to trade the war stories of motherhood. I want to smile when I see her walking away, hand in hand with her husband. I want to feel happiness. I want to see her.
   I know that I will not make it through her memorial without a lot of tears. I know that I will not make it through the next months without sorrow. I know I will think about her for the rest of my days. I will miss her until we meet again. I know that today is just going to be a bad day.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

September Status Report: Our Little Firecracker

   Many things about Paige have changed since the last time I wrote and yet, she seems the same. Of course, she has grown in her height and weight (she's not a small child either!) but it is her growth in other areas that stands out!
   Her speech has gone from changing every few months to changing by the minute. I will always remember the day her pronunciation of 'Daddy' changed. She had been squealing about 'Da-yee' all morning long. That afternoon, as I laid her in bed for her nap, she was telling me about seeing "Da-yee' when he got home and about reading a book with him. Fast forward 3 hours and he had suddenly become 'Dad-deee' (said with an awesome southern drawl, I must add). She hasn't said 'Da-yee' since and we have missed it so! Every once in a while, something is said or done that shows us how quickly...no...how instantly she is growing up. Being our first, we never know what to expect from her and she is a constant learning curve.
   At the moment, I am working on teaching her lots of new things. For example, she absolutely loves to help me with anything. Her favorite things are cooking and unloading the dishwasher. When she sees me open it, she runs to get her step stool and comes struggling up the hallway with it, all the while, telling me, 'Help me! Help mee!!!'. (That is her version of telling me that she wants to help with whatever I'm doing. I guess it comes from my asking, 'Do you want to help me?') You should see her face when I say yes! It could light up Pluto.
   There are a lot of areas in which we are struggling with Paige as well as learning. She has entered the 'everything is mine' stage and I completely hate that. I can't stand a selfish person and I will not allow my children to be that way. As believers in Christ, we are called to be servants and givers. I know that Paige is too young to grasp that but she will learn it if it kills me. She is old enough now to realize that she can say, 'no' but, thankfully, we realize that she is also old enough to recognize that she doesn't get to say, 'no' when we tell her what to do. We are also working on teaching her good manners...'Yes, ma'am....No, sir...Please...Thank you'...so on and so forth. She is starting to get a handle on saying please and thank you. I'm sure that 'ma'am and sir' will not be far behind. They are still a little difficult for her to say but she willingly repeats them every time we say it. It always comes out, 'Yes-am' and Yes-shur' and usually makes me giggle. I am enjoying her chatter so much. Don't get me wrong, the child will talk until she's blue in the face so I do require a break, but I know how much I shall miss her baby talk when it's over. It's so darn funny! Most of the time, when she repeats things, it comes out backwards and reminds me of Yoda.
Can you get me out of here, Sis?!

   Paige's adoration for Taylor remains constant. She now believes she is big enough to take care of Taylor all by herself. She tries to pick her up, make her food, and often tells us that she is going to get Taylor out of her crib! She had been telling me this for days so I decided to see what she would do. One morning, when Taylor woke up and started fussing, Paige turned to me and said, 'Dit Tayder. Me. Wait. Otay? Otay.' I told her I would wait on the couch but followed instead. Little Momma went into the kitchen, got her stool and carried it to Taylor's room. I peeked around the corner as she struggled to get it as close to Taylor's crib as possible and then climbed on top. Taylor, who could see me, is now fussing harder than before and Paige is telling her, 'Tayder, hush. Dit out. Way-tin. Hush.' (translated, 'Taylor, hush. I'm getting you out. You're awake. Hush.') Paige then got her hands on Taylor and stiffened her whole body while not actually lifting or moving anything. She repositioned herself twice and did the same routine while I stifled my laughter and Taylor gave her the evil eye. When Paige realized that it wasn't going to work, she told Taylor, 'Tayder, wait. Momma help. Way-tin. Otay?' (code for,'I'm in way over my head. I'm going to get Momma.') At this point, I couldn't wait any more so I came in the room and Paige begged for help. When I picked Taylor up, Paige grabbed her as soon as she cleared the rail and told me, 'Otay. Piper. I change.' (Meaning, 'Thanks for your help but her diaper needs to be changed and I can handle that.') By this time, Taylor wasn't impressed anymore so I had to give up my little experiment and take charge again. I can say, with all honesty, that I will never be able to contain my laughter when I remember that scene. Oh, Paige, how you brighten the world!
Puzzles!
   There is no doubt that the only person she loves more than Taylor, is her Daddy. She anxiously waits for his return from work every day and can't contain her excitement when he walks in. If he isn't home by his usual time, she is constantly asking for him and often requests to call him. I love to hear the joy in his voice when she says, 'Hey, Dad-dee!'! She absolutely loves to go fishing with him. She will sit on the couch for hours watching fishing videos with him when he gets lost in YouTube world. Paige never sits still so you know that's love! She begs to go for rides in Daddy's truck and hates getting out. She brings him book after book after book to read to her. He is the king of her world and nobody can touch him. It brings joy to my heart!
Precious time with Daddy!
   I cannot say that Paige is easy. I will not call her a walk in the park. However, I can say that she is an amazing, hilarious adventure every day and I always look forward to her smile in the morning. I continuously wonder what story she will give me today and I do, and forever will, treasure the beautiful joy that is Paige.

Pigtails!

She loves playing Angry Birds. 
Her stroller and babies are her favorite toys!

Monday, September 24, 2012

September Status Report: My Silent Hurricane

   My oh my, how our baby girl has changed since the last time I wrote. I don't know where to begin!
   I can't believe she's already 8.5 months old. It hit me like a brick just a few days ago. She is now just barely older than Paige was when Kyle came home from Iraq. She seems to have grown so much faster than Paige! Perhaps that is because Paige's first 8 months were the longest of my life. Words cannot express my elation at the fact that Kyle has been here for her entire baby-hood and will be for the foreseeable future! Anyways, let's go back a few months and fill you in.
The beginning!
   On June 11th, while we were in New Jersey, she started a very precarious balancing act while in her Daddy's lap and, she had it down pat within 2 weeks. Of course, sitting up is second nature now.
Our DVD collection is her favorite
off-limits toy. 
   During the same chunk of time, she perfected rolling over and the girl hasn't stopped moving since! It took me the longest time to get used to her rolling across the living room and getting into everything! Paige absolutely hated being on her belly so, even when she could roll over, she didn't. That girl stayed on her blanket until she was crawling at 10 months old but her sister doesn't believe in staying put. When she was 2 days shy of her 6 month birthday, I captured the first video of her hopping across our living room. Let the crawling commence! Of course, once she was crawling, she moved right on to pulling up and is now taking very small steps. She is will walk the length our couch and is so close to taking a step away from it but she can't quite figure that out. She will stand by herself for a few breathtaking moments, then gravity takes over and she is helpless to save her rear-end from a jolt. I have taken to calling her my 'Silent Hurricane' because she never stops going. If something is in her way, she simply goes over it. If it's too tall and she ends up landing on her face, she is unfazed. The girl is all over the place and quiet as a mouse. You never know exactly where she will be or what she'll be into when you come back in the room.

   I don't have a current weight and length to report but we are due for her 8 month appointment soon so I will add the latest stats after that. She did get stuck with more needles at her 6 month appointment, which always brings a huge smile to her face. At that point, she was still holding steady in the 100th percentile at just over 18 pounds and 29 inches long. I have no doubt that she will continue to rock that statistic at her next appointment. I'm beginning to wonder how we're going to clothe that girl! At 6 months old, she was the average height of a 12 month old. WOW!! She's not a fat baby by any stretch of the imagination but she's definitely a moose...long-legged and heavy!
   If it isn't clear already, Taylor does not believe in doing anything on a small scale. When her first teeth came through, she got 4 at once!! Paige's first tooth popped through at 15 weeks and it didn't faze her. Naturally, I was expecting the same thing with Taylor. WRONG!!! She is normally a very quiet, content baby but I couldn't make her happy for weeks. Before that, I had never understood why mothers complained about teething. Well, I can sympathize now! I was so relieved when I saw the first tooth poking through her top gums! I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. Then I noticed another one and thought, "Ok, she's getting 2 at once. Paige did the same thing so it will be over soon." The next morning, when I saw 2 more peeking through on the bottom, I went straight for the baby Tylenol and adult Advil! She has a total of 7 teeth now and not a single one made their introduction easy on her. I now have a high respect and fear of a teething baby. Taylor is definitely putting her new chompers to good use and is enjoying a plethora of new food. She has also discovered the glory of Cheerios, thanks to her older sister feeding her one when I wasn't looking. Between the two of them, we make it a point to never have an empty Cheerio container. If that were to happen, I do believe we would have a vicious mutiny on our hands!
   To wind it up, Taylor is moving right along. In a 2.5 month span of time, she started rolling, sitting up, crawling, standing, stepping, eating real food and got her first teeth. Can I breathe now???
          
I took Paige to the bathroom and this
is where I found Taylor when we got back. 
Always into everything!


Beautiful girl!

Thursday, August 2, 2012

From Bahstun to Joisey

    From the end of May and through the middle of June, we traveled...a lot.  We saw beautiful sights, met wonderful new people and got no sleep!
Despite the headache of having to contend with
 3 strollers, 3 babies, 3 toddlers under 4, and all the bags, blankets,
toys, diaper changes, and potty breaks that come with them,
I love trips with my whole family. I think we need to
make it a tradition! 
   Our first stop was Boston, Massachusetts for some close friends' wedding. It was an amazingly beautiful event! The bride's family was wonderful enough to hire babysitters for each family who kept our children while we danced the night away. It was awesome to relax and have a great time without having to stress about bed time!
   We also got to spend a few extra days around town and get some tourism in. It wasn't the greatest weekend for sightseeing because it was in the low 50's, raining, and windy the entire time but we made the best of it. We opted to buy a 2 day trolley pass so we could be carted around the city for 'free'. We decided it was much easier than trying to find parking in a strange city over and over again. Who needs a headache like that on vacation?!
   The first stop along our trail was Paul Revere's house and the steeple of the church where he hung his famous lantern. His house was really neat! It has some of his personal furniture in it and the old cobblestone street is still out front. We also went to the New England Aquarium. Paige loved it! She kept squealing about the 'feesh'! I absolutely love to show her new things and watch the wonder on her face. It thrills this momma's heart like nothing else! 
Trying to touch a shark with her Daddy. 
   As part of our trolley pass, we were supposed to get a harbor ride but the weather just wouldn't cooperate with us. I was majorly disappointed but I didn't want to subject the girls to the cold, rainy air out on the water. We had already had to give in and buy sweatshirts. This Floridian just can't get used to packing sweatshirts to wear in June!
   Thankfully, there was no shortage of things to do on dry land. We got to see the the U.S.S Constitution, a.k.a Old Ironsides, and play around in the interactive museum. We really enjoyed riding the trolley around the city and seeing the sights while getting a history lesson out of the rain! As you can imagine, it was really hard to handle nap time while touring but our girls did great and they caught their naps on the trolley. Needless to say, this Momma and Daddy thoroughly enjoyed holding them while they slept. That doesn't happen much anymore!
   To end our trip, we really enjoyed returning the rental car, finding the correct trolley to the airport, getting checked in for our flight, making it through security, and finding our gate with 4 adults, 2 children, a double stroller, and 12 bags. We met some great people, made wonderful memories and definitely gave Boston got a thumbs up, however, the airport got a different finger.
   When our flight landed in Raleigh, it wasn't time to go home. We spent 2 nights at my parents house before packing up the car and making the wonderful drive to New Jersey so we could surprise Kyle's sister, Kelsie. It was time for her high school graduation and we'd been planning for weeks to show up a few days early and surprise her at work. We were so anxious to get down to it! We honestly had no idea if she knew about it or not so we were definitely on our toes, watching everything we said and making sure we knew where she was at all times. When we walked into the cafe, we knew that we had her! She instantly teared up and squeezed us tight. Mission accomplished!! The only bad part was that she had to finish her shift. None of us had thought of that. oh well, it was a rookie mistake.  
Love this one!
Proud big brother!
Kyle never resists an opportunity to chunk
Kel in the pool!
    We got to hang out up there for about a week and enjoyed throwing Kel in the pool at her graduation party, cheering her on at her actual graduation and soaked up as much time with Kyle's family as possible. We always run wild while we're in Jersey and this time was no different. There's always somebody else to go see! Finding a place to get the girls down for a nap can be a challenge but we always work it out. I also got to visit with a good friend from Bragg who's up there while her hubby is in Korea. I always love our girl time!
   We left home on May 30 and didn't get back until June 15. Once we made it home, sadly, there was no rest for the weary. Kyle had to head straight back to work and the girls were willing to let me sleep an extra hour the first morning home but gave me nothing else. Where's the compassion, little ladies?!